Posted By Veiled Muslimah on/at 4/22/2006 07:18:00 PM

Assalam Alaykum,

It hurts when your Parents make horrible decisions. When they prevent you from doing something and don't even know the whole story. They don't bother speaking to you about it, or asking your point of view. Rash decisions and sometimes it's all stubborness. And it's worse when its something your doing Fesabililah, for the sake of Allah s.w.t. And at times it's really hard to forgive even when you know your supposed to because they are your Parents.

They allow you to do other things, but when your doing something for the Sake of Allah s.w.t, spending two hours on Islam, weekly, something or the other turns up. I could go on and on but i don't feel like explaining...

Right now, i'm depressed. And i feel like rebelling so bad. I most probably will. It's so unjust. *deep breath*

May Allah s.w.t give the Muslims Hidaya, especially those who are Parents and may they not prevent their Children and Relatives from doing something for Islam.

Because in the end, it's all about the akhira. This life is a test, our actions will be questioned. We will not take our wealth, money or degrees back. But instead we will be judged about our actions, if we did enough for Islam, if we were practicing Muslims, if we learned our deen properly and studied Islam, our actions in this world. And the more you do for Islam, the more you prepare for your akhira, the more Ibadah and worship you do, the better. Because those things will take you to Jannah not your money, not your wealth, not how many degrees you did and what type of a job you did.

I'm not saying it's wrong to get a good education or a good Job, but when your prevented from doing something for your Deen, when it's even on a very small basis, it's just plain wrong. Becayse that way, Your giving this Dunya more importance. Subhanallah... I'm so angry right now. Your allowed everything else, but this... another ten excuses appear. I could compare this situation with something else and that wouldn't matter. Life is unjust.

These days, people give more importance to the world around them, what society thinks, your culture, how people will react to you, how much money you earn, how many contacts you know and how popular you are. These things are NOT worth it. They'll get you NO where, because in the end, it's all about how much you worshipped Allah s.w.t.

(Some of the things might not make sense, because one, i'm angry and two, i've just written stuff down about how i feel about certain things that happened. Also i don't want to explain the whole situation because i don't want people thinking bad about other people.)

Allahu Alim.

May Allah s.w.t increase the Imaan of our Muslims brothers and Sisters.

We don't have years and years ahead of us, we can die at any second and then it's all about what you did on your time on Earth.

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25 comments:

neuroticnoon said...

salam!

great blog you've got going!
I've been meanign to comment so here goes!

Hmm it is infuriating when parents stop us without asking. I've been in that situation all to often, it hurts and it bugs us but as you so rightly siad this is our test, we have to go through many trials.

sis , pls dont take this the wrong way but sometimes we need to stop and think , your parents are only parents once , they're not given a guide book or instruction manual and so sometimes when you put yourself in thier position as much as you wouldn't like to their decisions make sense.
If not can i make one suggestion, why don't you talk to them?
tell them how you feel, sis it works wonders.

anyway sorry for the long reply

ws

sanurii said...

i dont know what exactly your situation is, but ive been through something like that. and i was crying for almost 3 days straight.

my dad wouldnt let me go to this summer program focusing on hadith, fiqh, tafsir, arabic and all that jazz. i really dont know why.. sometimes, because i see this with my parents, they say things like muslims today arent educated on their deen and because of that they are mislead in this life, but when it comes to their daughters, its always the "special case."

allahu alim. i still dont understand why stuff like this happens sooo many times, but for sure I know this; Allah never decrees something without purpose. in situations like yours, seriously put your trust in Allah and know that He decrees what is best. and sometimes, its best to keep being persistent with your parents about whatever you are planning to do. keep asking them, make istikhara and get your points across, and then put your trust in Allah.

May Allah give you what is best in this life and the hereafter. May He reward your patience and allow you to turn to Him with in every matter. ameen.

good luck dude.

bismillaah said...

I just wanted to say, the pic is sooooo beautifull :)

Veiled Muslimah said...

Assalam alayakum,

Jazakallah khairun for the replies. :flower:

Neuroticnoon I was thinking about talking to them but i didnt want it to turn into a full blown argument. It was just so unreasonable.. but alhamdulilah i've calmed down now. Thank-you for the advice.

sanurii Yeah i know what you mean. :-/ It feels awful. They should let us do it. This was one course that i was doing though, long story, i don't want to get into it and it's hard to explain. It was unreasonable. And then add other things on top of that. Anyway, Inshallah in the Summer then. These are just little courses that are available, that you can do, but they arn't present all the time.

Sometimes they do things which they think are best for you but they arn't, but in that case they should be forgiven i suppose because they have your best intention at heart. Allahu alim though, some things just really get to me.

But i think i should still be grateful about a lot of things. For example, i've already explained to them that i'm going study Islam at a higher level Inshallah, and they'r cool about that. Alhamdulilah.

Life is unfair. And therefore today i was in a totally depressed and sucky mood. Yes, i even ended up crying. Sigh.

Ameen to the duas. Jazakallah khair for everything. I felt better after reading it. *flower*

sincerity Aww thank-you. :) I got it from this site called madyan.com. [if i'm not mistaken]. They've got other cool pictures too.

Veiled Muslimah said...

I'd also like to add, that overall, Parents are wonderful Alhamdulilah and a blessing of Allah s.w.t. [Incase my post sounded really negative]. And most of the time they have our best interest at heart. So my love is still unconditional for them.

*Under*Cuver*Sister* said...

subhannallah i hear you sis.

Hanna said...

you sound like a great daughther, so dont worry about the sudden urge to rebel..it sounds like it's for a good cause.. and what better thing to fight for then for our deen right? Having said that, parents are amazing beings.. and it's our duty to love and respect them UNCONDITIONALLY (as im sure you're aware) so just sit down and talk to them.. they seem like reasonable people. They'll hear you. But most importantly, make dua.xxxxx

allaboutgq said...

Well Im not going to sit here and try to figure out what is happening or try to give your advices because I simply suck at it.

So, what I will say is that whenever I get depressed, I listen to Quran by my favorite recitors and think about the Muslims dying everywhere. That just boosts my Imaan and makes me feel all hyped and want to become a better Muslim by getting over petty little issues.

I dont know how much of this will actually help you, but I hope things get better for you.

May Allah make things easy for you and keep you on the straight path. Ameen

May Allah guide us all and forgive us of our sins. Ameen

Anonymous said...

ya sister, as salaamu alayki

I come to you in all sincerity and wish for your good fortune in this life and the next.

please, lend an ear to differing viewpoints on the scholars you admire, particularly nuh ha meem keller and his crew at masud.org

I am not calling for you to leave them but I am calling on you to listen to people who differ for them and more importantly, why people differ with them

http://www.d-sunnah.net/forum/showthread.php?t=17692

concerned brother

a concerned sister said...

astaghfirullah..this is trechurous work..going against one of the great ulema of our time..instead of trying to find faults in others...ESPECIALLY a great shaykh..why not look within at ones own faults and try to rectify them..it is not right to publicise this..

Veiled Muslimah said...

Assalam Alaykum,

Cricketgal Salaamz sis. :flower:

Hanna Yeah, i think it was a faze they were going through. I hope so. And well, i guess to them it was 'right'. Yeah, but we should love our Parents no matter what.

Mr GQ Jazakallah khair for the advice bro. Yeah, reading the Quran and doing ibaadah really takes the anger out at times or cheers you up when your depressed. That's what i feel. Ameen to the duas.

anonymous Walaykumsalam bro. Welcome to my blog. First of all, i'm not knowledgable enough to comment on them. They've studied the deen more then i have. And secondly i never said i 'admire' these scholars in any of my posts. By admiring i mean blind following. Infact, i havent spoken about my beliefs on my blog. We take from scholars which is in agreement with the Quran and Sunnah. Scholars are people, they'll have mistakes too, but they can also be of benefit to us. No one is perfect and everyone has faults. Shaykh Nuh might be wrong in somethings as you say, but he might also be right in other things which can be of benefit to us.

Lastly i'd like to add for everyone, i do not want 'violence' to break out in my blog. By 'violence'i mean sectarian arguements and bashing of one another. We do not need anymore disunity within our Ummah.

takecare everyone,
Masalamah

Kieran said...

I hope things become easier for you.

allaboutgq said...

You need to update.

Hope all is well with you, Insha'Allah.

May Allah protect you. Ameen

Veiled Muslimah said...

Kieran Thanks. :) They have, alhamdulilah.

mrgq Inshallah soon. I have exams spread out all over the month, and i have to pass. Instead, i've been procrastinating alot these days, which isn't good. So inshallah have to do some serious studying.

Yes everything okay now Alhamdulilah. Jazakallah khair for the duas.

Asmaa said...

Yes, someone once told me that Qur'an is the ultimate elixir of pain.

Because I don't know your situation, I won't say much. But you should also keep in mind that your parents are only tryign to do what's best for you. If what they're doing is against Islam, then don't obey them, but if it's not against Islam, do what will please them :)

ShahRukh said...

salaams,

Just here to remind myself and others taht Allah swt has the total control over every single atom in the universe. He controls the hearts and minds of people. So take this from Allah swt. Acquiring deen ilm is not an easy task since it involves a lot of beggin from Allah swt - not parents. If your parents granted you permission for other islamic courses, doesn't this decision sound rather irrational and impulsive?
Indeed it is from Allah swt without doubt because he controls our hearts and feelings. And believe me it happens to all of us irrespective of the religiousity of our parents. I have seen kids from really religious families getting into trouble for studying deen, etc. its just unbelievable.
Not to mention that it happens to me all the time. lol. Like when i become weaker in imaan my family becomes heavier on me and i end up missing my weekly islamic classes and bayans. So it is an indication from Allah swt of our shortcommings in terms of amaal. Therefore parents are not to be blamed but our own amaal, and this is how I feel.

Make lots of duas and get involved in activities that would make your parents happy and then rap out some nawafils yo'!

May Allah make it easier for us to acquire the knowledge.

Insha'Allah Khayr.

allaboutgq said...

Update, dammit.

Veiled Muslimah said...

Assalam Alaykum,

asma Jazakallah khair for the advice. :)The quran is truly beautiful Subhanallah....

shahrukh Waálaykumsalam. I get what your saying. Sometimes it's our fault. But at times some of their decisions are absolutely unreasonable. But allahu alim, Allah s.w.t knows all. Jazakallah khair for the advice though. :) Ameen to the dua.

mr gq lol. My home computer blew up. :-/

To all: I didn't speak to my dad about it, nor to my mom. But somehow it got resolved and we're all normal again. I can never stay angry with my parents for long, and the same goes for them. They had their reasons i guess... And i'm leaving it at that. Anyway, lets see what happens this Saturday. Jazakallah khair everyone for all the duas and all the advice. I really, really appreciate it. It really cheered me up and think about the whole thing more. And i basically got to vent as well.

May allah s.w.t bless all of you, and grant all of you Jannah. Ameen.

Bluerhapsody said...

what u sad abt..we all gotta go through it...and when we have kids..they gotta go through it...its a different lifecycle..heh heh...ANYWAys wats most imp..always pray for our parents...cause our prayers wil never be enough and we can never repay them- in front that..matters like these seem small-

rumasami said...

Hamna, when did you get to be so mature? MashaAllah, you write very well. I am going to come back often. Concentrate on your exams and make your parents proud.

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Musings, Articles and Ramblings of a Muslim Woman which range from a variety of different subjects.

Location: Dubai - United Arab Emirates.
The believers are only those who, when Allâh is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses (this Qur'ân) are recited unto them, they (i.e. the Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone).
Surat Al-Anfal - Verse 2
The Holy Qurán